Journal Entry #57: Facing Regrets.

Dear Diary,

I do have some regrets over some of the decisions which I have made. For example: while I was receiving my Bachelor's Degree from the University of Maryland Eastern Shore, I met a guy whom I had a crush on and overtime developed feelings for.

As time went on, this guy was the only person I would talk to and because I couldn't find a job and also adding that I was a foreign student who needed permission to work in the United States, I was all alone with no one to relate with but this guy.

This guy would call me frequently, and we would talk for hours. He began taking most of my God time and family time. And when I did not respond to his calls, he would complain and complain that I wasn't a good friend. He would sometimes go on a rant on my social media pages and upload comments where the whole world could see it. Anyways, it was time for big stuff to occur, time for me to get a job or find something doing. So, I opted in for school, time to get a Master's degree - which I did, Thank God. However, the journey to get the Master's degree was were the regret came.

So because this guy was complaining all the time that I wasn't there for him, or that I never had time for him; to prove myself, I forfeited everything and followed this guy. This guy had some master plan on how we were both going to make it together. Which I believed. So I believed in the whole plan hook, line and sinker.

Oh, how I regret!

I regret it so badly because I gave up my chances of becoming successful to be a waste in the streets. I regret so badly because of him and his foolish plan with no bearing, I gave up on my Master, The Lord God Almighty. I regret so badly because I gave up my chances of becoming anything I wanted. And for these reasons, I wept to the Lord. How I wept!

Anyways, fast forward to years in the future, I expressed my regrets to the Lord via journalling and you know what God said I needed to do? Repent.

To repent means to feel deep regret from one's decisions and actions and take a firm stand to never repeat those actions.

So, I made a resolution within me feeling regret, to change. The solution for me is to have a change of heart, to not repeat such actions anymore.

Repentance means acknowledging that a wrong has been done, accepting that wrong has been done and deciding to never make that wrong anymore, thus forgiving yourself for making the wrong decisions.

Humans are not perfect, Christ knows that, however, it is in Christ that we can find perfection. So when faced with regrets, see it as a call to action to repent. Repent and forgive yourself for not knowing better.

Sincerely yours,

An absolute sweetheart,

NaDahliah Royale..

🩷💋